Win the hearts of your readers in your next blog post

I‘m not very good at writing opening lines. It’s like when I see a cute brunette sitting by herself at the bar. I want desperately to get her attention, but can’t wrangle up enough courage to go over there and give it a shot. I’ve always considered myself to be an outgoing person, though, but I’m just terrified of opening lines.

I’m sure everyone has had a similar experience at some point in their lives. You see someone you want to connect with, then when you finally get a chance to introduce yourself, it seems as if nothing you do comes out exactly as planned. You trip over your words. You ramble on incessantly. You accidently headbutt them. That’s how I feel when I write blog posts. Like headbutting people.

“I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.” - Woody Allen

Self-deprecating humor has been heavily used by stand-up comics as a weapon in their toolbox for decades. Taking the stage in front of a group puts them in a position of power over communication, yet their job requires them to identify with the audience. This is why it’s of high importance that the illusion of power be broken so that he or she can been seen as just “one of us”.

Self-deprecating humor involves making observations of something negative about one’s self or to speak about things others are afraid to admit they do. Such as what I have done in the beginning of this blog post. By displaying your own faults, it creates a more personal connection with your audience as you become the spokesperson of a similarly shared experience. In fact, if you put your ears close enough to the wall, you may be able to hear many of your readers exclaim “I’m just like that!”

But doesn’t putting myself down diminish my authority in the eyes of my readers?

On the contrary, Mister h3 tag. You can demonstrate more authority by being modest and light-hearted about your own being. The fact that you’re open and willing to poke fun at yourself shows a great deal of confidence on your part. It appeals to your moral character as readers will think “if he’s willing to say that about himself, then I know he’s being honest.” And isn’t trust the essential element of winning over someone’s heart and mind?

So, are you saying I should always make myself the butt of the joke?

Well, it’s not just about making fun of yourself at all costs. There needs to be context so your flaw addresses a shared view with your audience. Simply saying “I’m ugly!” or “I’m bad at math!” doesn’t paint a picture in reader’s minds of an experience in their lives that elicited the same opinion of themselves. Express your fault by example. Tell a story. A story that could have easily happened to anyone reading.

“I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, “I’m going to mop the floor with your face.” I said, “You’ll be sorry.” He said, “Oh, yeah? Why?” I said, “Well, you won’t be able to get into the corners very well.”" - Emo Philips

But Jordan, what happens if I don’t have any flaws?

Then you’d be lying to yourself. If you were perfect, you’d be an h1 tag.

Everyone has a chink in their armor. I’m positive you can find at least one. Realize self deprecating humor works best when the faults are easily seen by your audience – this is why physical traits are often used as the basis of these jokes. Look at yourself objectively through someone else’s eyes. What do you see?

Now, before you go off writing a ton of posts highlighting the worst about yourself, there’s a limit to the extent you can do this. Self-deprecation can turn self-fulfilling prophecy if overdone. By continually put yourself down, at some point your readers will no longer see it as a joke and start to actually believe you. The balance is important to get right – occasional light-hearted jabs at yourself are quite effective, but a series of brutal hay makers will just make people feel sorry for you or worse, they’ll join in on the assault.

Why is self deprecating humor so effective and what are the benefits of using it?

It’s non-offensive. The target of the joke is on you, so how could anyone get offended by it?
It’s non-threatening. You become more approachable when readers know you’re not looking to attack them, only yourself.
It encourages rebuttal. Your readers will naturally want to defend you and show that your flaws aren’t as readily apparent.
It inspires sharing. Now that they’ve seen you let the cat out of the bag, your readers will be more willing to express their own flaws.

The hearts of your readers are much more fragile than you think. Letting down your guard and allowing them to see the authentic you, the flaws and all, will establish a much deeper level of trust in your work. Put yourself down and be the butt of the joke in your next blog post. You’ll share a few laughs in the process and your readers will love you for it.

Was that a good closing line? I’m not good at writing them, either.

Jordan Cooper is a 13-year veteran professional stand-up comedian who showcases his sarcastic humor with videos and written rants about blogging, social media & marketing at Not A Pro Blog. Want to guest post on HowToMakeMyBlog? See more info here.